So I have blogged enough now that I am starting to get search results. The first one was this:
life chaotic with toddlers?
Dude, that’s a whole concept in this blog. With three small children five and under, it’s totally chaotic. Now don’t get me wrong, most days it’s a good kind of crazy. Little monkeys are running around playing, climbing and generally causing kid mischief. You have to watch where you step because a kid could be under foot at any moment. This is the kind of daily chaos I love.
Lately I’ve seen an upswing in the bad kind of chaos. You know the kind where you want to pull your hair out and scream loudly, pillow optional. A lot of it can probably be traced back to me. There have been lots of issues lately and I’m having a hard time dealing with everything. I’m stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted and that’s just the physical symptoms. I’m also emotionally and spiritually overloaded. Everything feels like too much.
I’m trying so hard to not take my negativity out on my kids as I try to figure out how to deal with it and fix my situation.
Of course, nothing beats when one of the kids comes up and wraps me in a big hug say, “Gotcha Mom!”
It’s the story of my life lately. Kidlet Two is not sleeping for whatever reason. She goes to bed for a few hours and wakes for about three or so hours for whatever reason. It makes me very tired, though.
I had initially assumed it was some sort of developmental phase, but now I’m starting to wonder if she might be growing. Both nights she demanded a drink and a snack. I’m going to experiment tonight and see if she sleeps better. Last night was a slight improvement, though she did end up in our bed.
In the meantime, I will be fantasizing about sleep and more coffee.
Things are a bit of a mess right now in my life in general, as referenced by the chaos in the blog title. It’s weird because when I was on maternity leave and home all the time, chaotic days were okay. It could be all crazy, but at the end of the day, sometimes they would be fun.
But with my working schedule, chaotic days are disastrous. I end up being the mother I do not want to be. Which ends up leaving me feeling a bit depressed. My schedule is pretty messed up and there’s little room for improvement, so I’m not happy most days.
But I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer and moan about my woes all day long, so I don’t talk about it much. I am working to improve on my situation. I’ve got a few things in the works and I’m hoping something works out.
In the meantime, I’ll keep feeling like a slacker on the inside and making the best of this chaotic life.