That pretty much sums up how I’m feeling these days. There are so many things I need to do that I feel conflicted. There’s unpacking, regular housework, eat better, exercise more, write for the blog, work on the novel, spend time with the kids, spend time with the husband. There’s just more to do than there is me or hours in the day. I’m trying to figure out how to balance it all. And get ahead or at least break even.
Late last year, I was part of the launch team for Crystal Paine’s Say Goodbye to Survival Mode. I have a hard copy of it sitting in the kitchen next to the cookbooks. Perhaps it’s time to dust it off and work through it again. My biggest thing is the exhaustion and lack of energy when I get home from work. I manage to cook dinner and feed everyone, but then I just want to be done. I want to rest and unwind for a little bit. Let my brain relax. Ideas flow better. Most often, something with the kids keeps me from getting a good night’s sleep, and I know that will end one day, but I still have manage today.
I know I would be less exhausted if I exercised more, and I know that I would be happier if I spent more time on creative endeavors, but I have to figure out how to prioritize so I can “have it all”. Not to mention that I need to work on this house so we can live happily. So where do I start? How to I decide which is the highest priority? How long do I sacrifice myself for the good of the rest of the family?
From past experience, I know that I am terrible at keeping schedules. Something always comes up with the kids that blows my plans out of the water. Then I completely fail to return to the schedule. Maybe a need a gentle shove or nudge from someone, I don’t know. I just know that it hasn’t worked well for me in the past.
So I am left feeling like I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I didn’t work full time, but I am the breadwinner, so we need my income. Especially since we will have to start paying for daycare in August.
What do you do to balance all of your life obligations? How do you beat the stress and fatigue of daily life?


Hey, You Slacker!

Don’t mind me, I’m just talking to myself again. So much for blogging every day. I missed yesterday’s post, so I suppose I must do it twice today.

The husband and are talking again. Really talking. I think there comes a point where you have been together so long and things are evolving and life is changing. We’ve been together for 16 years now and there are so many things going on right now.

But I feel like things are going in a positive direction and we can solve just about anything if we are willing to work at it together.

House of Ick! And Gross!

2013 has proved to be an interesting year. New job. New schedule. More activities. And a buttload of illness. For a house that rarely gets sick, we’ve been rocking the Sickness Salute since Christmas. Every week seems to bring something new. Stomach bugs. Colds. What appears to have been a mild flu. Sinus infections. Either a new illness strikes or a new family member gets it. I’m exhausted. Because nothing says awesome like waking up at 2 am to clean puke off the floor.

New job is going well. I am getting home earlier, but lately I have been battling exhaustion in the evening and I’m not nearly as productive as I had hoped to be. Perhaps when spring comes with some sunshine and warmer weather, things will ease up a bit. Sunshine is always good. My days at work are busy, but I stay just this side of panic about task overload. The hours sure fly by and the people are fun to work with. I like this company. Every time I’ve worked there (intern, 2 temp gigs, & now full-time employee), I feel right at home with these people.

The kids are getting busier than ever. Soccer will start up soon. I’m kind of disappointed that Kidlet One wanted to take a break as she seems to have a bit of natural talent. However, Kidlet Two is super excited to be big enough to play this year in the preschooler group. I am also trying to round up other activities and opportunities for the kids, even if it means I’m exhausted. Kidlet One has Girl Scouts, which always seems to be busy.

On the writing front, my novels (yes, that is plural) call out to me, mocking me about my lack of attention to their causes. Every time I sit down to write, it seems something comes up with the kids demanding my attention and I end up so exhausted it is hard to think once I finally sit down again. I am hoping some of this clears up with the warmer weather. I’ve also made efforts to get to bed earlier so I can get up earlier. This morning I got up a littler earlier, but so did Kidlet Three and he woke his oldest sister in the process, so I don’t quite call it a success. More like yet another work in progress. But isn’t all of life?

In the meantime, I keep trying to make progress, including a complete declutter of the house. It’s time to purge a great many things. I’ll keep trucking after my goals and get there eventually, including blogging more. I do enjoy it.

Have You Ever

Read something you posted a few weeks ago and realized that AutoCorrect made you look like a dumbass?

Yeah, me neither.

I’m back. Trying to get my shit together and accomplish a few things in real life. But also realizing my creative half wants an outlet as well. I have a few posting ideas and some fiction to work on.

NaNo: It’s Novel Writing Time

Okay folks, here we go. I’ve been working on posting more, but now I shall be scarce. My goal is to post weekly updates for you all, letting you know my status. Perhaps even snippets of the work.

Good luck and see you on the other side!

Annual Catastrophe: 2012 Edition

Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed. Just when things start to look up and I feel I can once again chase after the things I want to do (such as writing a novel), life or fate, perhaps they are in cahoots together, one of them decides to vomit disaster in my face and leave me hanging. It usually happens close to month of November which leads me to believe that National Novel Writing Month is out to get me as well.

For the 2012 edition of Crap That Happens, I learned late last week that my consultant job will be ending in March. This is about a year earlier than I expected, and seeing as a job search can take months, this puts a rush on things. I’ve got to gear up my job search right in the middle of the holiday season. Blergh.

Except I don’t know what I want to do next. Well, there are things I’d like to do, but they feel more like pipe dreams these days. My dream job would be basically to be a virtual assistant from home with a large emphasis on writing. However, it takes a lot of time to start up a business and with three small children and a lack of support for chasing my dreams in my spare time, I don’t see them happening. Exhaustion effectively consumes me right now. But one day, I hope to put the pieces together to make it happen.

In the meantime, I have to figure out something. I’m the primary earner for our family. My money matters. I don’t know what I want to do with myself and that makes it so much more confusing. Especially considering that I thought I had another year to figure this out. It’s a tad overwhelming because I can’t really pursue what I love at this point, yet I don’t know what else I can do to make sure the kidlets are fed.

So I am waiting and debating my options. I have a little bit of time, but I can’t wait too long because it usually takes a few months to find a job and I only have five total.

In the plus department, I’ve been blogging much more regularly here in the last couple of weeks. I’m finding it be addicting and I like that I have a post up every couple of days. This may or may not continue over November. I’d like to keep my readers (all three of you) updated on my noveling progress as the month continues.

Failed Plans

2011 has not been a kind year for me My mind is usually scattered more than a stack of 100 $1 bills in a hurricane breeze. I am a full time working mom with three children age five and under. On a typical day, I am gone from the house about 12 hours.

Most days I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Those are the main factors I attribute to most of my absent-minded professor syndrome.

But these days it seems to be no matter what strategy I use to tackle the overwhelming tasks stacked against me, something comes along that blows my plan out of the water. It’s hard to watch things slip through the cracks month after month.

So I’m strategizing how to tackle 2012 and conquer my obstacles. That will be an upcoming post.