These Days

Things have been really busy around these parts the last few months. I’m still trying to get a grip on things and smooth out life a little. I’ve found it a little annoying lately that something always has to go wrong on the weekends.
This last weekend, for example, I wanted to get a lot of cleaning done because we are having the birthday party for the youngest next weekend. My back has decided that now is an awesome time to hurt. Lots. So it limits what I can accomplish at a time.
I’m also trying to get so many things done that I can’t figure out where to start and what to tackle first. The biggest thing there is to just pick something and go after it. So, I am thinking that I might test a few freezer cooking recipes to see if we like them before I make several of them to feed us. Soccer season is fast approaching. I definitely report back what we’ve tried and how it works for us.
What’s going on with you?

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A Day at a Time

Hello there, you smexy thing. I’m back for another round of blog posting. I’m going to try this new thing were I build my habit by posting every day, even if it’s just a tiny little bit of whatever.

My day started at 2 am when Kidlet Three woke up. It wasn’t all that unexpected seeing as he fell asleep on the way home. I was even pleased when he took one bite of a “hoptart”, drank half a glass of milk, blew out a bunch of snot, and fell back to sleep. I would have happily gone back to sleep too, except our 12 year old Cocker Spaniel/Chow Chow mix thought that I wanted to stay up and proceeded to bark from his kennel for over an hour. So I cleaned out my inbox and deleted a bunch of emails I didn’t need before finally deciding to get up and take a shower.

So now I am caffeinating, because that is the best (and only!) way to start the day. There is a light snow/sleet mix coming down and I need to get ready for work. Yet here I sit at the computer.

My marriage is facing struggles again. Or perhaps I should say that we are back to the same struggle we’ve had. Yesterday it just hit home again. Somehow we got on a path that causes my husband to say that I don’t deserve a break away from the kids or family stuff ever. Unless I want to fork over the dollars for it. I pay a decent wage for my babysitters so that gets expensive fast if I go that route. Meanwhile, all over my real and my online lives, other mothers who have spouses that tell their wives, “Go. Take that break. you deserve it.” And all I can wonder is why I am not worthy. He gets to go do things. Other mothers get to go do things. I NEED that time alone for my sanity and I’m not getting it. I suffer. but I can’t seem to convince him that I would be a much happier, healthier, BETTER wife and mother if I got that time.

So we’ve reached a bit of an impasse. I can’t let it go and he won’t give in. This produces a lot of stress. Coincidentally (or not), this has a produced an increase in my hip pain.  I thought my reduction in pain was from another cause, but multiple variables changed when my pain decreased, and I now suspect stress and anxiety are a big trigger. I was finally able to see a rheumatologist and while he doesn’t think I have signs of ankylosing spondylitis, there appears to be something going on. My bloodwork is normal, but on the borderline of the high end of the range, and  I wasn’t having a lot of pain issues when it was drawn. Today I get X-rays, which I am looking forward to. Hopefully some answers and some better pain management. Now that I’ve made the stress/anxiety connection, I need to figure out how to minimize it. A conflict that cannot be solved doesn’t help.

Getting lost in the crazy world of day job doesn’t sound so bad right now.

House of Ick! And Gross!

2013 has proved to be an interesting year. New job. New schedule. More activities. And a buttload of illness. For a house that rarely gets sick, we’ve been rocking the Sickness Salute since Christmas. Every week seems to bring something new. Stomach bugs. Colds. What appears to have been a mild flu. Sinus infections. Either a new illness strikes or a new family member gets it. I’m exhausted. Because nothing says awesome like waking up at 2 am to clean puke off the floor.

New job is going well. I am getting home earlier, but lately I have been battling exhaustion in the evening and I’m not nearly as productive as I had hoped to be. Perhaps when spring comes with some sunshine and warmer weather, things will ease up a bit. Sunshine is always good. My days at work are busy, but I stay just this side of panic about task overload. The hours sure fly by and the people are fun to work with. I like this company. Every time I’ve worked there (intern, 2 temp gigs, & now full-time employee), I feel right at home with these people.

The kids are getting busier than ever. Soccer will start up soon. I’m kind of disappointed that Kidlet One wanted to take a break as she seems to have a bit of natural talent. However, Kidlet Two is super excited to be big enough to play this year in the preschooler group. I am also trying to round up other activities and opportunities for the kids, even if it means I’m exhausted. Kidlet One has Girl Scouts, which always seems to be busy.

On the writing front, my novels (yes, that is plural) call out to me, mocking me about my lack of attention to their causes. Every time I sit down to write, it seems something comes up with the kids demanding my attention and I end up so exhausted it is hard to think once I finally sit down again. I am hoping some of this clears up with the warmer weather. I’ve also made efforts to get to bed earlier so I can get up earlier. This morning I got up a littler earlier, but so did Kidlet Three and he woke his oldest sister in the process, so I don’t quite call it a success. More like yet another work in progress. But isn’t all of life?

In the meantime, I keep trying to make progress, including a complete declutter of the house. It’s time to purge a great many things. I’ll keep trucking after my goals and get there eventually, including blogging more. I do enjoy it.

2013: Year of Many Things

At one point I was going to write all these delightful goals for 2013. Things I was going to do, all these wonderful things I was going to accomplish. But alas, life has a way of taking all of my plans and scattering them to the four corners of the earth. So, let’s recap a bit.

Thanksgiving holiday I was as sick as a dog. The week I had off between Christmas and New Year’s, I was sick as a dog. I’ve started a new job. The past week I started fully into my new job and my brain is mushy, full of new things. It will all sort itself eventually though. I’ve also had a horrid headache for the last two days.

So let’s just say that for 2013, these are the things on my plate:

  • Settle in to my new job
  • Write more
  • Get the house decluttered & hold a garage sale
  • Save a significant amount toward a Disney vacation
  • Focus on eating right including more real, whole foods
  • Make regular exercise a thing for me
  • Pay off some debt

That seems to be plenty. Some of it is simple. Some of it repeats from last year. And some of it is new to a public list but has been on my mind for quite a time.

I am excited to get back into the writing seat. I am also grateful for a new job that allows me more time with my family and involves working with a great group of people. I get home much earlier than I have in years and my commute is cut in half. Score!

If you are a urban fantasy fan, Ilona Andrews is putting out the Innkeeper Chronicles. Book One is called Clean Sweep. The link takes you the beginning. I find it awesome.

Some of my friends are out in an anthology called A Spank in Time! Way to go, folks!

I think that’s about all I have for now. I am currently reading Tiffany Allee’s Lycan Unleashed. Just started. Somewhere I need to keep a list of books I’ve read this year.

Have You Ever

Read something you posted a few weeks ago and realized that AutoCorrect made you look like a dumbass?

Yeah, me neither.

I’m back. Trying to get my shit together and accomplish a few things in real life. But also realizing my creative half wants an outlet as well. I have a few posting ideas and some fiction to work on.

Balancing Life

After weeks of being the busiest I have been in some time, it just sort of hits me that balancing all the aspects of life is probably what makes all of it the most difficult. There’s work, home, activities, time with the kids, time with the spouse, time with myself, etc. The list just goes on and on.

After a day at work, I come home and debate what all I can do before I fall comatose to my pillow. Do I try to write something even though I feel sluggish and mushy-brained? Do I do something relaxing? Do I try to clean up our pig sty?

There are so many things competing for my attention that it is overwhelming and before I know it, I’m paralyzed into inaction.

And I know this is something I need to work on. Picking something that I can accomplish and doing that. It’s the underlying philosophy of so much.

But until last week, I felt as though I was walking around in a haze. It finally broke and though I am still tired in the evenings, I no longer feel immobilized by all the demands.

I just need to tackle a few and get moving on those. Even if it’s just a little at a time.